Friday, June 24, 2011

Choose Your Destiny

What I have for you today is a fun game to play with your sub. I call it "Choose Your Destiny." It's very simple. Make a list of questions that have either multiple choice or yes/no answer. Make your sub answer the list of questions, but without knowing what the question is he's answering.

Here are some sample yes/no questions:
  • Do you want to be gagged?
  • Do you want a butt plug in?
  • Will you be denied orgasm?
  • Will you be spanked?
  • Are you going to go down on me?

The problem with yes/no questions is that answering "yes" is usually the more desirable answer for the sub. Try to word things backwards, as I did with the orgasm in the list. Multiple choice questions really solve this problem better, as you can mix up the answers randomly. Here are some multiple choice questions.
Which do you prefer?
  1. To be gagged
  2. To be blind folded
  3. All of the above
  4. None of the above
What punishment do you deserve?
  1. None
  2. A spanking
  3. No orgasm today
  4. Nipple clamps
What will you lick?
  1. Your feet
  2. Your clit
  3. Your nipples
  4. Your ass
You can put any question you can think of on your list. The possibilities are endless. If you have trouble thinking of questions yourself you can make your sub write out questions for you. Maybe just one a day, and pick from your list of questions at random.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Erotic Blackmail

Erotic blackmail is a complex topic. Someone could probably write an entire book on the subject. As such, this is going to be a long post. It's an entirely different dynamic, and an entirely different approach to power exchange. Now I’m not talking about movie-style blackmail where you have proof someone broke the law or committed a crime of passion, and you’re demanding money. I’m talking about sexy-fun blackmail, where you have some naughty pictures or videos of your sub and you make him do other naughty things or you will "share" them. I'm writing this post with male subs in mind, but should work with females as well.

Subs not only want to submit, but they want to have no choice in the matter. This is why bondage is so popular. While bound subs don't have to obey, they have no choice in what happens to them. Orgasm control will also give you a measure of control. But ultimately they still have a choice, "Obey or you lose an orgasm." Your pet will have to turn down an orgasm to disobey, which might sound unlikely, but I've seen a number of subs refuse when ordered to eat their own cum. Combining bondage and orgasm control takes away even more control from a sub, but bondage can only last so long and orgasm control still leaves room for disobedience. However, you can go a step further, and that is blackmail.

Blackmail gives the blackmailer near total control. Once a sub knows you are serious, the pressure to obey is overwhelming. When he is in your presence you have complete and total control over him. This obsoletes the need for any kind of bondage. If you tell him to lay there and take it, he has no choice. Of course even blackmail has a few limits. You can't make the sub do something physically impossible, and you don't know what he's doing when you're not around. So employing orgasm control and having the sub wear a chastity device is still a good idea. This is, nonetheless, the most power you can possibly have over your sub. And I must admit, it can be quite the rush.

Some subs will get hard at just the thought of blackmail, while others will freak out. It's usually some of both, but make sure your sub is into it before trying it. You don't want to actually break any laws. I also recommend that you keep money and gifts worth money, out of the blackmail entirely. I even suggest telling your sub this once you've begun. Anyone who accidentally finds out you're blackmailing your husband or boyfriend into some sexual act is going to know you're only playing, whereas if they find out you're blackmailing him for money, they may alert authorities. It's best to leave money and money related things out of it to avoid that whole shit storm.

With this fetish, the real trick is to convince your sub that you would actually expose him. Do you really have to be willing to expose him? Well, yes and no. You have to be willing to expose enough of him that he thinks you could go all the way. Never tell him you aren't sure if you could go through with it or not, always say that you could. If you want to sound more reasonable you can admit that it would take the fun out of it if you had to, but emphasize that you would do it, or else you could never take yourself serious again. If, in the past, you've said you couldn't expose him or might not be able to, you could "admit" that your hesitation in the past wasn't about exposing him, but exposing yourself as blackmailing him (as this need not be the case). There are also some tricks you can use to convince him you are serious.

To start, I suggest using images over video; it's just easier. Find (or get) a picture of your sub doing something embarrassing. Make sure you're not in the picture, you want it to be a picture that doesn't implicate you as the photographer, and isn't directly embarrassing to you. Also try for pictures without any easily identifiable "landmarks" for someone to spot. You get a million bonus points if he took the picture himself, as this is doubly incriminating. Secondly, you need to sanitize the picture. Cameras today put all kinds of information into a picture. Some even embed your GPS coordinates. The easiest way to remove this information is to open your picture with an image editor (ms paint will do), save it as a BMP, close the program, reopen the program, reopen the BMP file, and save it back as a JPG. Now you have a sanitized picture. I suggest preparing a couple, but even just one will do. Next you need to find a site that lets you both host and delete images of adult content. I recommend PostImage.org. Make an account, and make sure you choose a username and password you won't forget. Upload the pictures there. Now the pictures are safely on the internet, deleting them off the computer will do no good; they are protected by your password. Sure PostImage has a search option, but it only searches file names, so make sure your file names don't have real names or locations in them.

You can now show your sub these images online, and explain to him they are on the internet and there's nothing he can do about it. You can also explain to him that no one can find the pictures, so he is safe for now. Technically it's possible for someone to find them, but the odds are better that he'd be struct my lightning twice in the same day. This will let your sub know you've got him. This is often sufficient for a fun weekend, if that's all you're interested in. If you plan on going longer, your sub will inevitably test you to see if you're serious. If nothing else he will say you are not, trying to get you to convince him you really are.

The easiest way to show you are really serious is to make a new blog. First, find an anagram of their full name. It doesn't actually have to be real words, you can just jumble up the letters however you want. Then search Google for that anagram with quotes around and make sure it returns no results. So for example, with the name John Smith, I will jumble the letters up as "Jmht Soinh". There are 0 Google results for this search so it's a good name. Make it the name of your blog, and in it write something like, "Hi. My name is Jmht Soinh. I live in _the_town_you_live_in_, and I want to show you something." And link to a picture you uploaded. After a couple days your blog will be indexed by Google (you can speed it up by a day by submitting it manually), and the anagram you came up with before will now have exactly one result. That is what you show the sub. You tell them to search for that anagram, or do it for them, and when they see it, you can tell them all you have to do is edit that blog post to have their real name. If he disobeys again you can edit the blog post and put his real name in it. Leave it that way for an hour, or day, or until he obeys, and then change it back.

Another thing you can do in addition to, or instead of the above, is to send a "hint" picture via email. The first thing to do is pick someone. I don't recommend anyone in his immediate family, as he might not think you could go through with it. There's also a chance that a brother or sister might already know about his kinks and just plain old not care. I recommend a cousin, friend, or even a coworker. The tricky part is to get the right email address. You can sometimes get it from a relative of his you've spoken with, but I just find it easier to either squeeze his email address password out of him or to wait until he leaves himself logged into his email account, and to get it yourself. Next, you need to prepare this "hint" image. You're going to need to resize an image for this to work, but it's worth the time. Start by opening one of your sanitized photos in an image editor. Resize the image down to 8x8 or 10x10, something really tiny. If image editor wants to make it 8x7 or 10x12, then let it do so. Now that you have a tiny picture, resize it back up to the original size. If you don't remember the original size, use 800 by something. Some programs will make the image blocky, others will make it blurry. It doesn't matter, just make sure the picture is indistinguishable. Save it as something that won't identify either of you, something like 0001.jpg. Make a new email account, either on Google, Yahoo, or whatever. Send the blurry picture to the email address you have. Always show him the original picture after you show him the blurry or blocky picture. The human brain looks for patterns and he will see himself in the blurry or blocky picture even if others would not be able to. You can even make your sub watch as you do it. Remind him if he tries to stop you, you have the pictures online and can just send the full sized image when he isn't around. If he ever disobeys or still wants to test you, you can repeat this process but use a slightly bigger intermediate size. Instead of resizing down to 8x8, you can use 16x16. It will show a lot more, and be even more obvious to him. If he still needs convincing, you can even send the link to the full picture. Make him watch as you do it. When he realizes you've done it and starts to freak out, you can go to the online site and delete the picture from there. Save it to disk, delete it from the image hosting site, and reupload it. This way the link you sent via email is no longer valid. He should be convinced, and there's even a chance the picture was actually seen.

What do you do now that you've got your pet blackmailed and convinced of it? Well the first order of business is to get better photos. Make him take them himself. As I said earlier, these kinds of pictures are way better for blackmail. It's more humiliating to have self pic of him coming on his own face then one someone else took. It's more embarrassing he's the one who took the picture of him sticking something in his ass. Try to think of something just slightly more humiliating and embarrassing than the current pictures you have. This creates a spiral of perversion. He will constantly be creating his new more damning blackmail that will itself allow him to be blackmailed into creating even worse blackmail images. Of course this can't go on forever, but you can drag it out for quite a while. Just get another pic every so often. You can even have him think up something you don't have a picture of! Tell him to think of something or you'll start sending.

What next? Have fun! If you couldn't convince him to wear a chastity device before, do so now. If he's the type that normally refuses to eat his own cum, this is a great way to get him to do so. Do you want more oral sex, foot massages, back massages, etc.? Now you can demand it and have the demand itself turn him on. Tired of bondage? There's no need for it anymore, just tell him to stay still. A variation on this is to play dolly with him. Have him stay perfectly still except for how you move him. So if you put his arm up it stay up. Most kink and games translate to the roughly the same thing under blackmail, along with opening up some new things that can only be done with a 100% obedient pet.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Post Orgasm Torture

This is a fun one. To the uninitiated, "post orgasm torture" may summon images of a man being punched in the balls after he's come, but it isn't that at all. In actuality, the things done during post orgasm torture would be very pleasurable pre orgasm. After orgasm a man's cock become very sensitive. More specifically, what becomes sensitive is the glans, aka the cock head. As a woman you've probably experienced this with your clit. Touching it directly after orgasm is just too much. Forcing this sensation on someone is post orgasm torture.

One important thing to know about post orgasm torture is that it causes involuntary motion. Think of being tickled, you can't help but laugh and squirm. In post orgasm torture these reactions manifest themselves in sudden jerks, flailing, and sometimes even convulsions. While sexy as hell for a sadist like myself to behold, they are quite effective at stopping you from playing, and can even be dangerous depending on your distance from said limbs. I recommend you always securely bind your sub beforehand. Not only does make the act more "forced," but it lets you safely go on as long as you'd like without being interrupted. Also, it's sexy to see someone straining against their bondage.

Prolonging the erection is important, as blood will quickly drain from the cock after orgasm, especially during post orgasm torture. Go to work right after orgasm, don't let the cock sit for any amount of time. The harder the cock, the more full the head is, the more sensation it will feel. Cock rings or cock bondage can slow a falling erection (set that up before orgasm), but all you really need is to grab the cock shaft near the base, pull the skin tight, and squeeze. This will can slow and sometimes even stop the blood from leaving the erection. I suggest using your non-dominant hand for this, so your dominant hand is free to do the dirty work.

The ironic part of post orgasm torture is that the more pleasurable an action would normally be before orgasm, the more painful it will be afterwards. Lubrication increases sensation, so a good tip for post orgasm torture is to use lots of lube. Cum will act as a lubricant, but I suggest having a bottle of lube near by and making sure he is lubed up good before orgasm. Secondly, the more constant contact you are making with the glans, the better the reaction you will get. Thirdly, don't hold back! This is entirely harmless fun. The reactions you get may be over the top and uncontrollable on behalf of your pet, but again, compare this to tickling. This is actually one of the safer "torture" acts found in kink.

The most common method for this is to just stroke up and down quickly over the head of the cock. Squeezing as you go increases contact and sensation. An easier method, and one that also tends to give better results, is palming. It's pretty simple, close your palm over the flat of the penis head. Run your palm in circles back and forth over the glans, rubbing the tip, the flat, and the rim all at once. If your hand is small enough you can even let your fingertips brush the sensitive spots on the under side of the cock head, but focus your pressure primarily on the flat. You can also do this method in reverse, focusing on the underside of the cock, but for some reason it seems to get less of a reaction. Any hand job technique will work to some degree, and everyone is different. See what makes your toy jump the most and repeat that, or try to find new ways to solicit such reactions. Just have fun with it. You could even make a game out of finding what gets the biggest reaction from your sub.

The best thing about post orgasm torture, as I've mentioned before, is that what you are doing would normally be extremely pleasurable. This is part of the fetish for those who are into it - forcing someone to endure something that they would normally find enjoyable, and for those on the other side, being forced to endure such things. If you want to play off of this element of the fetish you can tell your sub thing such as, "But this is what you like!" Or, "If you don't like this then why did it make you come?" The "you like this" angle is fun. Depending on the sub, you could even use post orgasm torture as a punishment, perhaps for coming too soon, or as part of a game. "I'm going to play with you for X minutes, if you don't come you lose your orgasm for tonight, but if you do come I won't stop until the time is up."

Friday, June 3, 2011

Domme Sex

One thing that bothers me with some in the hard core kink crowd is their insistence a submissive male never have sex with a dominant female. I've known subs who go soft at even the thought of sex. Where does this attitude come from? Sure a cock can hurt an unwilling pussy, but overall they are pretty safe. I'd argue that a man can do more damage with his teeth during oral sex than he could with his cock during penetrative sex. Yet some men have fantasies of never having sex again, only ever providing oral sex. Is the problem that it happens to feel good for the man? Well too bad; it feels good for women too. If a top wants to have sex, the top gets to have sex. That's how being dominant works. The question often comes up, "is penetration a dominant act?" When the question should be, "how can we make sex more of submissive act for the sub?"

To start, there are several things we can set up before sex. The most common of those is bondage. Tie or otherwise bind your slave to the bed. This usually leaves you on top, which is also a more dominant position. You can easily throw a butt plug into the mix by inserting it before any bondage. Not everything requires bondage though. You can put clamps or clothespins on his nipples or balls. If you're feeling particularly sadistic you can put Bengay on his cock head and carefully cover it with a condom. Just be extra careful not to get any on the outside of the condom; you don't want any of that getting on you!

One fun thing to do is to tie a slip knot or nose on one end of a long rope and attach it to your sub's balls with the rope going in the opposite direction of his cock. Tie the other end of the rope to a door knob or other immobile fixture. Any knot will do for this, but if you know your knots you can use a clove hitch knot to make adjusting the length quicker. You'll want to adjust the length so that your sub, in order to penetrate you, has to pull on his own balls. It might take a couple tries to get right, but it's a lot of fun and worth the effort. You can slowly inch away on the bed to make him yank harder and harder on his own balls. This trick works with just about any position you enjoy.

There are also things you can do during sex. The most common one, perhaps to the point of being cliché, is making him say your name. And while there's always name calling, I prefer to make him call himself names. Make him tell you he's a horny slut or that he's controlled by his cock. You can pinch or squeeze his nipples from a lot of different positions; if he has clamps on you can wiggle or pull at those. If he's into feminization, you can play with his "breasts" like a man might a woman. If you're riding him you can hold him by the throat. And if you're riding him reverse cow girl his balls are open to some CBT fun. You can slap them with your hand, or if you have a crop handy you can smack them with that. If he has clothespins or the like on, you can simply bat at them or pull them off.

I realize I bring this up a lot, but you don't have to let your sub have an orgasm just because you did, or just because you had sex. Denying him after you've finished is also a very dominant act. However, if you do allow him to come, there are things you can do post orgasm as well. For example, you could make him lick his come off -- or out -- of you. Another option is post orgasm torture. The cock becomes sensitive after orgasm, to the point where it's painfully sensitive. Rubbing the head of a man's cock post orgasm can make him jump and squirm like you couldn't imagine. You can really have some fun with this. I recommend adding more lube because it increases the sensitivity and will get you the best reaction, but keep in mind you have to get started quickly as this works better the more erect he is. And yet another option is to have him tell you when he's about to come and ruin his orgasm by pulling away at the last second.