Friday, January 13, 2012

Being Nasty

When it comes to the sexual definition, being nasty means being unbridled and uninhibited in regards to pleasure and play. This means doing things in the heat of the moment, which would otherwise be considered filthy, dirty, taboo, or unpleasant in a nonsexual situation. If such actions are also unexpected this that tends to increase their nastiness. Being nasty requires taking a more dominant role, even if that roll is to ask for something.

For an innocent couple, a woman being nasty might break their current missionary position, get on all fours while telling her man to "take me doggy style." Other examples include sticking a finger in her man's ass during a blowjob, breaking away from a blow job or pulling your man up from cunnilingus for some heavy kissing, or asking for anal sex. Of course all of this probably sounds tame when spoken about in a nonchalant manner like this, but when done in an unbridled fashion, just in the middle of foreplay, it can be quite racy. Also, as you may have realized by now, as this innocence is lost, what would be considered nasty will also become more extreme.

In a dominant/submissive relationship, not only has this innocence (lack of experience?) been lost, but the dynamic of the relationship and the roles taken on influence what is expected, and thus, what it takes to be nasty. For example, taking your sub in the ass (pegging) wouldn't likely be considered nasty, as it's often part of the d/s roll. Keep in mind this is only a generalization. If pegging isn't common play for you and your sub, then a surprise pegging "just for the fun of it," could certainly qualify as being nasty. The key here is still the appearance of spontaneity combined with an unforgiving drive for enjoyment and pleasure.

So then what would makes for some good nasty play with your sub? Well one way to do this is to bring in areas of BDSM that even experienced players will often find highly kinky. This often includes erotic blackmail, rimming, and watersports. People who do engage in these acts are often described as nasty, but like the vanilla examples given earlier, these are seen as nasty simply because you are ignoring the dirty or taboo nature of the acts in favor of your own pleasure or interests. If you aren't willing to go this far with your pet, the good news is you don't need to. There are other things you can do that will fall into your usual realms of play. The trick to being nasty then becomes exhibiting this same eagerness for pleasure despite the cleanliness, timing, or location of the situation.

A good way to do this is to improvise some toy or tool that you'd normally use. Instead of a gag, put your panties in his mouth. You can also use a sock if he's got a foot fetish. "But they're not clean!" Remember, you're eager to get on with your fun; do it anyway. This is a good problem to have as doing it anyway shows nastiness, and honestly, this will drive subs mad. The same improvisation can be done with bondage. You can use dog leashes, bungee cords, or even belts to tie someone up. Zip ties are great to have around and work wonderful as well.

Find or make an excuse or situation where you would having no means of cleaning up after play, and then play anyway. It will appear more unbridled if start out without a solution. Remind your pet he won't be able to come because you don't want to make a mess. Let him know you are aware of the situation and keep it on his mind, but have your fun. Then, if you decide you do want him to have an orgasm, you can come up with a solution. You could mention that to keep things clean you'll have to finish him with your mouth, but when you do, you snow ball him. This is when he comes in your mouth hold and rather than swallow it, you kiss him and spit the cum into his mouth. You can either surprise him with it, or let him know what's going to happen. Either way I strongly suggest emphasizing beforehand how important it is you two don't make a mess so he won't just spit it out all over the place. Along the same lines, you can play until your pet will eagerly swallow his own cum, although technically it could get a bit messy. As a side note to the previous article, you're more likely to get away with the simple command approach when he knows you're serious about cleaning up.

Another way to show this nothing's going to stop you attitude and to use some of these seemingly spontaneous ideas is to play somewhere you normally wouldn't. It doesn't have to be a public place. It could even just be a different room than normal. This has the potential to make vacations, multiple day trips, and even holiday stays more fun for your pet, especially if travel isn't normally his thing. Hotels are great for this sort of play, but even the spare bedroom at your parent's house can be lots of fun. This is an awesome excuse for a custom gags. Improvised bondage is great fun but you might not have rope with you depending on where you are or what sort of trip you're on. (I suggest keeping rope in your car for emergencies by the way.) If nothing else you can stop at a toy store during your trip and pick up toy handcuffs. You can use mittens or tape on his hands so he can't easily undo the child safety locks. And of course, playing in a new place is a great excuse for not making a mess.

This is by no means an exhaustive guide to being nasty. There are any number of nasty things you can do when playing. As I'm sure you've heard before, it's all about the attitude. This isn't just true for being sexy, it's the trick to being that illusive nasty. Luckily, part of being nasty is being seen as doing things for your own pleasure, which should usually be a goal for you when topping. So try not to forget to have fun.