Prostate Massage

I figure I should cover prostate massage since my last post was about prostate milking. Prostate massage is pleasurable for most men, and unlike prostate milking, it is intended to be enjoyable for the person on the receiving end. Impressively enough, some men can even have an orgasm from prostate stimulation alone. Prostate massage isn't kinky of and in itself, but it has become fetishized by many subs.

Some men just have anal fetishes and discover the pleasure of prostate stimulation while exploring that. But for most subs, a big part of the thrill ties into feminization and humiliation fetishes. In the case of feminization prostate massage is desired in the form of pegging, or strap on play. The sub is playing a reversed role, being penetrated by a woman rather than the other way around. In the case of humiliation, the sub gets off on the fact that you know he actually enjoys having something up his ass. Verbally reminding a sub he is enjoying something being up his ass, without going into the specifics of why, can have a very powerful effect on him mentally.

Prostate massage can be done by hand, with your fingers, and I always suggest it as a starting point for people with little‑to‑no prostate play experience. For a how‑to guide in finding the prostate, see this paragraph from last week's post. Since we're only talking about massage here, if you have really small hands and it's too difficult or it's just plain too disgusting for you, then you'll probably be fine skipping right to a toy and relying mostly on feedback from your sub. When milking the prostate, accuracy is very important, but not so much when massaging. I also mentioned the Doc Johnson Pleasure Wand last week, but for massage you don't need such a precise toy. I suggest larger, blunter dildos for massaging the prostate so you don't have to focus so much on what you're doing. Sometimes it's fun to use a toy that's slightly too large, enough to be uncomfortable, as to mix pleasure with pain.

The way I see it, prostate massage is something you can do to reward your sub. I find it's prevalence in the BDSM community to be unusual since it seems to be an act focused on the submissive male's pleasure. It's almost like a blow job in that regard. I am actually quite disappointed by the number of men I run across who think it would give a top great pleasure to massage their prostate. Would someone go up to a dominant woman and ask her for a blow job? Of course not. I primarily blame erotica where domme's are often written as taking great joy and satisfaction in violating a man's ass. Not that I can't have fun with it, but from a dominant woman's perspective, I see no reason for it to be elevated to the status it has among straight submissive men.

Of course, with the right angle you can have fun with almost any form of sexual play. As I mentioned earlier, my sadistic side gets some enjoyment out of using a dildo that's too big to be comfortable for the sub. In this regard it can be somewhat akin to CBT. Seeing how much pain a sub is willing to take in return for pleasure is always interesting. And prostate massage can be useful in intensifying a sub's desire to orgasm - I do like my men desperate for orgasm. So I don't mean to bash it if it's your thing, but try to be realistic about it if you can. If you're a dominant woman who doesn't care about prostate massage, do not feel guilty or out of place.