Following Through

I've played with enough subs to know these next two suggestions are golden, whether you're in a time restricted relationship or not. Every situation is different and everyone has their limits, but as far as general advice goes, this is some of my best. These will help keep your dominant role both strong and rewarding.

My first suggestion is, always follow through with what you say. This is harder than it sounds, but nothing shows your dominance like following through. Not to mention, one of the worst feelings is telling a sub you are going to do something to him, only to have have him laugh thinking it's a joke or shrug it off in disbelief. Following through not only prevents this, but ensures you are taken seriously. Any threats will be taken to heart. Your words will be much more intense and sexy.

Part of this is learning how to say things in ways that leave you options. Above all else, be careful with absolutes. They can put you in a difficult spot when you're short on time or otherwise don't want to follow through. If the rule or demand might be hard to follow, give an out, an alternative. One example being, "or you won't come for a week."

Another element is remembering what you said. If you have a tendency to forget things then make notes. You could send them to yourself in an email or save them on your phone or desktop. I also suggest you get your sub help. Threaten to punish him if you forget something and he doesn't remind you. You could test him occasionally by pretending to forget.

If you're short on time or the task is too difficult for you or your sub, play with the semantics and technicality of what you said. If you said, "If you come now I'm going to make you eat your own cum." And your sub comes, but you're in no position to follow through, say "OK, I warned you. Just wait until next time, I'm going to make you eat your own cum." It's hard for some men to eat their cum after orgasm; if you think you might have trouble with this, make him eat some pre-cum when you're playing and tell him this is his punishment. If you play with semantics and technicalities too often your sub may try the same thing "But technically..." To which I suggest you respond, "You know what I meant!"

My second suggestion, is to make your sub follow through with unfulfilled fantasies. Not only will you and your sub find this satisfying, but it's a bonding experience as well. Most men immediately lose interest in anything kinky the second they orgasm. This rules out any fantasies that outlast the orgasm itself. This commonly includes fantasies such as eating their own cum (straight, cream pie, etc.), and post orgasm torture. The other type of fantasies that don't get followed through with are ones which prevent full or frequent orgasms. This includes orgasm denial, chastity (devices), and ruined orgasm fantasies.

You should never feel bad about making someone go through with their fantasies, even if they don't want to follow through at the exact moment it's needed. Tell them what you are going to do or make them do while you're playing. Remind them throughout the session. If they know you are serious (see my first suggestion), this will make them much more hard and excited. And that right there is all the proof you need to follow through. They will immediately think about what happened next time they get horny. You will be tied to their fantasies. Next time they're masturbating and that fantasy pops up, it will be you they are thinking about.