Horny Sub, Happy Sub

I love to say it, a horny sub is a happy sub. It's a broad generalization, but it's actually true for the most part. If you don't believe it, pay attention to when your sub is horniest, and compare it to how happy he is when he is least horny. The diffidence may be subtle between slightly different degrees of horniness, but I bet if you compared his happiness when most horny, to his happiness when least horny, you would notice quite the difference. And although misery loves company, being around someone who's happy will tend to lift your spirits. So it's in both our interests for my dear hubby to be as horny as possible. The best way to do this is frequent masturbation but infrequent orgasms. This post will focus on frequent masturbation, and the next post will focus on infrequent orgasms.

The best way ensure regular masturbation by your sub is to put him on a masturbation schedule. This is controlling and fun, so it's a win-win. I do want to stress this is only masturbation, not orgasm - I am a big fan of chastity devices, but I'll get into that next time. The key to a good schedule is starting the day with a masturbation session. If it's not the very first thing, then it's as soon as possible. Also, if you're going to allow your sub an orgasm, I recommend doing so only at night; ideally less than an hour before bed. Yes, often times a sub is happier after orgasm, but it doesn't last. I've noticed time and again that when I've let subs come in the morning, they are noticeably less happy and less attentive by evening. Other times I have noticed an immediate drop in mood (as described here). There are always reasons not to follow this pattern, but if you do, your sub will be horny during most of his waking hours. Happiness.

The masturbation schedule I have set up changes from time to time. Sometimes I add something new, remove something that isn't as fun anymore, or adjust it to fit relaxed or increased time limitations. Currently my hubby masturbates for 20 minutes when we wake up in the morning. If he gets close to orgasm he is to stop for a minute before resuming. That minute doesn't count toward the 20. Again, he is not allowed to come. I leave for work before him so I'm getting ready during this time, but I'm around enough to check on him. He is again required to masturbate for another 20 minutes in the evening. Like before, stopping for a minute if he gets too close. You can also schedule a masturbation sessions for your sub at lunch as well, but my pet wears a chastity device to work so this isn't an option for us. If he's had a bad day, is being moody, or I otherwise think he needs attitude adjustment, I will have him masturbate for an extra 20 minutes as soon as possible. I refer to a masturbation session as "exercise" when in public. So I can say things like, "When we get home, you better exercise."

You might be wondering, why 20 minutes? Or, why add something extra to it? One study suggested the most desirable amount of time between the beginning of intercourse and orgasm to be between 7 and 13 minutes. Another I can't source saying frustration starts to set in after 15 minutes of masturbation without orgasm. So 20 minutes seemed just enough to make any sub eager for orgasm. The added activities and restrictions, are chosen to make the sub more horny. If your sub doesn't seem to be experiencing this eagerness to orgasm, or isn't getting close during the time you have subscribed, rather than adding more time, I suggest you try adding additional tasks, or even a vibrator to the mix. Yes, men can use vibrators too, although oftentimes they need a stronger vibrator than you use. If you have any estim toys, getting those involved might help as well. Sometimes an extra push is only needed in the morning or at night.

A not so recent addition to my hubby's evening masturbation is that he has to lay on his back with his legs lifted up over and past his head. His cock points right at his face, and he is to reach for his mouth as he masturbates. My goal is for him to be able to suck his own cock, which you have to admit, is a bit sexy. Even if he never makes it, I like the position because it adds a little something extra for him if he "accidentally" comes. I've told him if he comes he is to stay in that position until he's emptied his whole load on his face, although I suspect this makes an accident more likely. I don't know if he will ever reach his cock, but it's spiced things up a little, and that's good.

You can give other tasks like these to accompany the masturbation. One common task is to have your sub stretch their balls by hanging weights from them, or to stretch their ass using increasingly larger dildos. I don't care for either of those personally, but if you like the idea then it's a reasonable addition. Another thing you can set to accompany masturbation is self-CBT. These are things like making him wear vampire gloves as he strokes himself. Or having him tie his balls up with one end of a string or rope, and then tying the other end of it to his hand; tying them close enough together that he can't get a full stroke without tugging tightly on his balls. However, I enjoy the reactions CBT elicits. So not only would I hate to miss out on them, but I worry the sub will build up a resistance to such sensations, which lessens his reactions when I want to play. Nonetheless, it might be a good addition to your sub's scheduled masturbation if he needs something extra to get him close, or if it makes him horny beyond reason.

Another fun idea is to have him repeat a "mantra" while masturbating. What I enjoy doing with these is having my sub say something degrading or embarrassing if others were to hear it. For example, "I am a slave to my cock. I will do anything for an orgasm." Or, "I want to be tied up and teased but not allowed to come." The other type of thing you could have him say is something you want him to remember. Such as, "I am jerking off, but will not come." Or, "My cock belongs to your name here, I will do anything she asks." Thinking about it now, I'll probably have to add a mantra back in again. At least in the mornings to work him up a little more. (He'll just have to say it loud enough for me to hear while I'm getting ready.)

You can also add restrictions. The most common I've seen suggested is to make a sub use only his non-dominant hand, as this makes it more difficult. Since the idea is for him to be as horny as possible, this doesn't help. Maybe if you're having him masturbate to completion then it makes sense, but why do that? Restricting vision is a fun one. By making a sub blindfold himself, he doesn't know if you, or someone else, might be watching. This means he can't masturbate differently when he knows you're not watching. Another restriction is no lubricant. I know I'm sadistic because I deeply enjoy the thought of someone wanting to be played with despite being sore and chaffed. However, my husband doesn't find anything about chaffing to be sexy, so I only use it as an added punishment when I can.

I'll touch more on punishments at a later time, but I should mention them briefly. It defeats the whole point of exercising if your sub comes. What I do, and what I recommend, is that when a sub has an accident during his scheduled masturbation, the punishment is to take away his orgasm privileges, and when he is finally allowed to come, it's a ruined orgasm. It's a simple and easy deterrent. This doesn't mean no playing for you, you can still play with him if you feel like it; he just doesn't get to come. I don't have a set amount of time for this punishment, I like to say it's on a case by case basis. If you haven't been restricting orgasms I suggest starting with a week. During this time my hubby is still required to masturbate according to schedule in the morning, but has to go twice as long in the evening. Some tops like to suspend masturbation as well, but I don't agree with that. Is it really much of a punishment to stop him from having orgasms if he isn't even thinking about them? Isn't it worse if he can think of nothing else? Orgasm denial with forced masturbation is a much better punishment. Of course if he comes during this punishment then it gets serious. I double the time, and to prevent further accidents his cock isn't allowed any physical stimulation. He can still do things such as go down on me, but it limits our play greatly. I try to make the best of it, but it is less fun.

How do you work around his masturbation schedule? You don't have to; just play when you want. I prefer to play right after an exercise session, or if I'm interested in playing, I'll often make the sub masturbate before we start. He squirms that much more, and is that much more vocal. Both of which I love. If you're interested in some penetration and you know he's going to have to pause too often to avoid coming, then sure, play before he exercises or let him cool down after. I will reiterate that while I've suggested you only let a sub come late in the day, you can play any time you want. Just don't let him come too early in the day. This may seem obvious, but it's lost on some. Maybe you think it's only fair to let a sub come after playing with him or teasing him, but you have to get past that idea. If you think like this you will feel pressured to make him come every time you play, and this will take the fun out of it. It will feel like an obligation. Add to that the fact that if it's early in the day, he'll likely be less fun to be around later, and there's no need for that. Again, there are exceptions to every rule, perhaps you are doing a series of orgasms for the day, whatever. Just don't think you owe him an orgasm right now because you had fun. I don't think I've met a sub who wouldn't think it's sexy to hear, "I want you to be as horny as possible, so I'm not going to let you come right now." In fact, telling your pet that you're doing this to keep him horny, will not only make it more fun for him, but make him more horny.