Friday, August 26, 2011

Stranger Humiliation

While I disapprove of most public play with strangers, I'm going to make a post on the topic. I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that it's a quick cheap thrill at the cost of a stranger. Hopefully my post can keep people away from the most tasteless public excursions and leave you with a few more reasonable ideas, should this be something you want to pursue.

But first I wait to say that I've heard people brag about how they forced their sub to dress up a sissy and visit family, or how they brought their sub to a Christmas get together wearing a collar and leash. I don't know how to say this plainly enough: You are directly forcing family into your sex life. You and/or your sub are getting off on this, and these people are unwilling participants. This is equivalent to grabbing your father's hand and forcing him to give your sub a hand job. They are family so they feel obligated to put up with it but it's really not appropriate.

One way to humiliate your sub is to take him to Victoria's Secret and help pick out lingerie for him. You can even wander around until someone offers to help. These people are generally use to men perving around their store so this is only one step further. One could even imagine a truly transgendered man being interested in such things and in this case you're helping to break some of that stigma. The cheaper version of this is to take your sub to visit a Walmart-like store, or a discount clothing store, and pick out some women's clothing for him. Hell, you can even make him try them on in the changing room before buying them. I admit that I'd hate to have a stranger's horny cock rubbed on my clothes, but I always assume the worst and wash new clothes before wearing them.

A more general approach to the shopping angle would be would be to have your sub pick up certain items that suggest an illicit kinky use. Make him get all the items at once and make him go through a cashier; do not let him use the self checkout. You can usually verify this on the receipt, but you can go with him and then send him off to check out and watch from a distance. Super Walmarts and Super Whatever-Big-Stores are great because they let you pair more embarrassing items, such as a cucumber and some lube. Not all food stores will have lube though, so you can go with baby oil which is pretty much just as guilty looking. If they don't have cucumbers or you think that's overdone you can have him get a single banana or large carrot. If it's a drug store you can have him get some tampons with his lube instead, and you can throw in an enema kit while you're at it. Other things you can add to the list are a box of tissues, Nair "bikini cream" hair remover, adult diapers, and a men's fitness magazine. I'm sure there are other things you can think of as well. I prefer to select two or three very specific items to hint at a particular action. To finish things off you can even make your sub use said items in such a manner, so what the cashier was thinking, was right.

But your sissy is all dressed up and you want him to experience the world! Well then, how should you go about this? One thing people tend to overlook are BDSM clubs. They are great for this. People at such clubs understand what's going on and are much more likely to make lewd comments than the general public. If you don't feel your sub gets enough attention try putting a note on him asking people to grab his ass or fondle him, etc. You can really go all out in such a setting. Another good place to go is a gay bar. Most allow straight visitors or couples, but you might want to call ahead to make sure. This is also a great way to get embarrassing comments as people who have had a couple of drinks are tend to be more lose tongued. If you absolutely must parade your sissified sub around out in public to unsuspecting strangers, please choose an appropriate part of town. Most cities and towns tend to have certain areas that are more seedy and less likely to have a mothers taking their kids out for a walk and that sort of thing. I also suggest avoiding schools, toy stores, etc. Your goal should be the embarrassment of your sub, not the disgust or anger of strangers.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Pizza Humiliation

You've found someone willing to help you humiliate your sub, but how do you go about it? You could do the obvious "my friend wants to watch us play and see how you beg" approach, but there are other more clever and more humiliating options. I'll tell you about one of my favorite mindfucks to play on a new sub.

Announce to your sub that you are going to order a pizza for lunch/dinner. Find out what he wants and then call the pizza company to order. Only instead of calling the pizza company you call your helper. Give your phone number, then name, and "confirm" your address. Tell your helper what pizza it is you want. Once off the phone complain to your sub that they told you your wait is going to take 30-40 minutes. Ah, but you have an idea, to avoid getting bored you want to play with your sub right here in the living room. Have your pet close the curtains get naked while you bring out your bondage gear.

Secure him to the couch or a table. It doesn't really matter what as long as he can't get up (or knock anything down trying). You don't want him messing up your plans by doing something he's not suppose to; he has to lay there no matter what happens. Make extra sure he can't get his hands free. I strongly suggest you use professional grade handcuffs. Free hands have the most potential to screw up your plans. Also blindfold him with a good blindfold. So many are easy to see around and you don't want him to see anything. If you aren't sure about a good blindfold I suggest painting some swim goggles black (or you can use any color nail polish). You're also going to want to have a gag handy. You can either gag him now or save it for later. Keep most of your clothes on or have some near by you can quickly throw on if need be.

Begin playing with your sub. I like to either set up some e-stim or secure a vibrator to his cock so that a hands free orgasm is possible. Get him hard and horny. And then... What?! How could the pizza be here already? It's only been 20 minutes! If he doesn't have the gag in yet put it in quickly and throw a thin sheet over him that you just happened to have near by. Perhaps his erection is obvious through the sheet. Shout "just a minute" as you begin throwing on some clothes. I suggest leaving e-stim on a setting that will keep him hard, but preferably won't make him come yet. Coming too soon would take some of the fun out of it. If you have a vibrator set up I also suggest leaving it on, but on low depending on how loud it is and how obvious you want things to be. Open the door, take the pizza and pay the pizza delivery girl, your helper, with a twenty dollar bill. Now this can go one of two ways.

With this first option everything happens pretty quick. It may sound drawn out, but the whole thing goes down in less than a minute. Your pizza delivery girl tells you the twenty dollar bill looks fake. "And if it's fake I get in trouble for accepting it, and it comes out of my pocket." Reply with something like, "I'm sure it's good but, I'll see what other change I have." And walk off a bit to set the pizza down and look for different change, all while leaving your delivery girl at the open door. The curious delivery girl quickly walks over and throws up the sheet to reveal your sub. I suggest having her move the sheet enough to reveal his goods, but taking it all the way off is also acceptable. If you think that's too much then just revealing a leg or foot is fine too. You can decide on the scale of exposure here, although I think letting her get a good look at his cock and balls should be the minimum amount of exposure for this much trouble. She makes a quiet gasp and runs back to the door leaving your sub exposed. "I've got other pizzas to deliver, I'll just take the twenty." As your sub is blindfolded you can delay until the events have unfolded and the delivery girl is back at the door. There's no need to guess, you can just look to see how things are progressing. At this point either give her new change or the original twenty dollar bill. Close the door and exclaim to your sub, "Were you like that the whole time? Did the wind do that?" And if he made noise, "I think you scared off the the pizza delivery girl!"

The second options is more humiliating and quite a bit more personal. It also asks more from your helper, and thus makes it harder to find someone willing to help. If you prefer this approach I suggest presenting both options to potential helpers but tell them you'd prefer this one. As you close the door and go to set the pizza down in the kitchen tell your sub you have some bad cramps all of a sudden and need to run to the bathroom. Once there, text your helper so she knows it's safe. The pizza delivery girl then knocks lightly but without waiting opens the door. She speaks at a normal volume so you have an excuse for not hearing her, "Hey I think this twenty is fake." After just a few seconds of silence her curiosity gets the better of her. She partially closes the door behind her and goes over to your sub. She pulls up the sheets, just enough to show a foot. She gasps, but quickly recovers and moves the sheets to reveal more of your sub. Either uncovering him completely, or just enough to expose his cock and balls. After a couple more seconds of pondering and taking in the sights, maybe even some back tracking to the door, she decides to fondle your pet. If you have a vibrator set up she can turn it up. If it's e-stim I suggest having her leave it alone, but if you're comfortable with her experience you can let her turn it up. Ideally under this situation she'll make your sub orgasm, but put a time limit on things so it doesn't seem like you're gone for an unreasonable amount of time, maybe 4 or 5 minutes. Orgasm or not, the pizza delivery girl re-covers your pet and leaves. Your helper then texts you to let you know it's safe to come out. Wait another 30 seconds before coming out.

Now your sub is gagged and can't tell you what happened, but he may try. "Oh what sexy noises you make!" If he hasn't come during the events, finish him off with an orgasm as to complete the experience. After he's come you can undo the gag. If you undo it first it will seem unbelievable or cold of you to force an orgasm on him after he explains things. I generally don't tell the sub it was just all a ruse. Maybe if he's freaked out about "what could have happened" then I let him know he was never in any danger and that I set the whole thing up. It really ruins it though, so if possible just let it be one of those things he will forever remember.

Now, this works best if your helper actually orders and picks up the pizza order you gave over the phone. This little detail makes the whole thing so much more real. Also since your sub is blindfolded, no costume is necessarily for your pizza delivery girl. I refer to my helper as the pizza delivery girl, but this can work with a male assistant; He would just be a pizza delivery guy instead. You might not want to take the fondling path if this is the case as that would be extra humiliating for most men, sometimes to the point of anger. You also don't need to set up an e-stim or vibrator, but I still prefer to do it to help keep a nervous sub hard. All of this assumes your front door opens to your living room. If that's not the case then you'll have to make being tied up next to the front door part of the game before things "go wrong." If you've never played with a gag or blindfold before this then try to work them into play a couple times before this so it doesn't seem too obvious. If you don't have fun doing some of the things required for this mindfuck, ie gags, blind folds, a particular pizza company, then you can use this as an excuse not to do those things in the future.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Humiliation Help

In previous posts I talked about humiliation in private and humiliation online. This leaves us with humiliation in person, with a real person. We don't want to break any laws, so how do you go about finding a willing participant? If one of these approaches is too much for you then just skip the paragraph and go on to the next. If none of these sound reasonable to you and you can find no one to help you out with such adventures, then simply avoid going there. Don't let your sub, or your desire to please your sub, pressure you into a situation you aren't comfortable with.

First, always be upfront and honest with anyone you contact about what you're looking for; tricking someone into helping is a good way to get in trouble. I also suggest you have an idea of what you want your third party to do beforehand. If you're looking for someone to be involved physically, it's going to be a lot harder to find someone. And finding someone to watch your pet "perform" will be harder than if you're just looking for a quick scene, such as coming to the door to sell something, only to be "surprised" and run off at the site of your tied up, cross dressed, and/or maturating sub. Of course, don't go as far as scripting something out. Not only do memorized lines tend to sound like memorized lines, but a fixed script is likely to scare potential help away.

The most obvious approach would be to hire a professional dominatrix, an escort, or a stripper. This approach is also expensive. A professional dominatrix will cost the most and you probably don't need to pay that price just for someone to watch. Some escorts actually escort, but some do more and will be happy to help. As a last resort you can check with services that hire out strippers for things like bachelor parties. Keep in mind that when you ask an escort or stripper service for something that sounds kinky, you'll be asked to pay a bit more. The mark up varies, but expect something from 50 to 200% more. The bright side is that since you're not looking for sex or other dangerous acts, and looks don't matter, you can go with the cheapest service you can find. CraigsList has shut down it's adult section, but Backpage fills that niche now. And don't forget, you can always check the phone book.

The next most obvious approach is to post a personals ad to CraigsList. While this is completely free and fairly easy to set up, it's also one of the hardest to pull off. Again, be honest. I suggest saying you're looking for a woman who would be willing to let you humiliate your sub in front of them. If you say you want someone who will "help you humiliate" your sub, it sounds more daunting. Most women however won't be very interested in such things, and no matter what you say in your ad, most everyone you get a reply from will be a man. What I've found with men on CraigsList is that they'll want more than to just watch. I suggest avoiding men from CraigsList entirely unless they have a female partner who will come along with them. Sure there are some reasonable men out there, and if you have a conversation with someone and everything seems right, then go for it. But beware of guys who are looking for a blowjob on the side.

If you really want to bring someone around, your best bet is to find someone in the lifestyle or community. What might be the obvious approach to some is to check your local BDSM club. But for many, this is too daunting a task, especially since many require a membership or have a high non-member entry fee. Most people will be more comfortable going to such social settings with their sub, but then when you do get talking to someone who might be interested he's likely to remember them, which doesn't really ruin anything but I do think it's more fun if it's someone your sub hasn't met before. If you prefer to have your sub involved and you are comfortable in such settings then this is an acceptable approach.

The easiest way to find someone however, is at local munches. These are low key, low pressure, meetings in a public setting. The dress is casual, there's no fetish attire or BDSM play. Topics range from the most vanilla of small talk to the kinkiest of BDSM subjects. This is one of the best ways to meet a like minded person in the community. The trickiest part here is finding local munches and clubs. While Google and Craig's List might aid you in your search, currently best way to find such things are through the site FetLife. You can search for events and local groups through the site once you've signed up.

While I am often disappointed with FetLife's feature set, I have to admit that it has it's strong areas. If you're not the type of person to go to a munch or BDSM club, then FetLife is still useful for you. Not only is it great for finding local clubs and munches, but it's probably the best and safest way out there right now to meet the type of person you're looking for from your home. If it's a woman you'll usually end up making an arrangement with her to help you out, and in turn, you'll help her with her pet. If you decide to go with a man then usually he's willing to watch or otherwise help for nothing in return. Since FetLife has no way to search for other people with similar interests in your area I suggest joining a local group and simply posting what you're looking for there.

Of course you could always ask a friend for help, but I'd only suggest considering this if you're keeping your sub for life, or at least as long as you plan on keeping your friendship with said friend. For most people it's not worth risking a friendship over a little sexual fun. Hopefully you know a bit about your friend's interests, but a safe way to gauge their interest is by asking them hypothetical questions. Of course you could end up offending them, but if they're really your friend, blah blah blah. Also, they may be willing to help you out once, but if you're interested in getting their help multiple times, keep in mind a friendship is a give-take relationship. Even if your friend is into kinky play, they aren't likely to get satisfaction from helping you humiliate your sub. If your friend also has a sub then this might be a favor you can trade off with her, but if not, the other options is to bring her into the play. At this point we're looking at some sort of three way action which, again, many people aren't conformable with. So while it's not always a bad idea, please think it through before attempting to involve a friend in such an intimate part of your life.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Public Humiliation

This is a continuation of last week's post, but focuses more on the public aspect of humiliation. As I said before, you don't have to involve a third party to make something humiliating. However, as you play around more with humiliation you might find yourself wanting to push your sub a little bit further. While you don't need to push your sub's limits, doing so is one of those bonding things we tend to do in growing relationships. Did I mention it's fun?

You don't need to bring someone into your bedroom to make humiliation more public. In fact, I find it's best to take things slowly. If you jump right to something very extreme then, yes, you are really going to humiliating him a lot, but then the steps in between are less intense. If you build up slowly then your sub can be the most humiliated he's ever been, each step of the way. Maybe I'm just sadistic, but doesn't this just sound like so much more fun?

The first step up from private humiliation play is to share pictures of your pet with a friendly but easily accessible community. I suggest Reddit's Gone Wild community or their BDSM Gone Wild community. If the picture is kinky, I suggest you post it at both. While a majority of the pictures are of women, pictures of men are allowed as well; just make sure you tag them with [M] as listed in the guidelines so no one gets upset. It's a very friendly place while still being publicly accessible. You have to host the images elsewhere though; I prefer postimage.org, but Reddit users tend to prefer imgur.com. Both let you make accounts and delete old pictures under that account. An alternative would be to post the pics on a profile at FetLife but kinky pics are the norm there, and it's so hard for strangers to find your pictures that I don't consider it a good choice if your goal is humiliation. Either way there should be some fun comments for you and your sub to read, perhaps you could even take requests from the community and fill them live, or just the next time you're playing.

To get responses from people who are more likely to be surprised by kinky pictures you can post an ad with pictures in the CraigsList personals section. Since this is local to your area you may want to use pictures without your sub's face, or chose a different city to post your ad in. People aren't idiots so don't post a bunch of fake ads in a row. It's probably best to just post as if you were your sub; this doesn't really limit your options. You could post his pictures and ask what people would "do to you." You could pretend to be looking for a new kinky friend, or you could just appear like a total perv and say that you took these pictures of yourself and wondered if anyone would like to help you take more. The idea is to try and get replies from people without having your post flagged and removed for being fake. CraigsList hides your email address but you may still be more comfortable making a fake email address for this. Even if you post to a personals section directed at women, expect a lot of replies from men. That said, posting in the M4M section would get you more replies. Since a lot of posting to CraigsList is just knowing regular people will see the pictures, you might want to plan ahead a bit on what email address to use or what you're going to write and then post an ad of pictures you take next time you're playing. You could probably even get several response right away, although some will certainly be spam.

There are some adult sites you can post your own videos at, but for some reason I have much less fun sharing the videos on such sites. Part of it is because there's so much fake porn there, but the bigger thing for me is how many guys post their own videos there just for the hell of it. If you want to share humiliating videos I suggest you find a site that pays you for views or downloads. Making money off your sub's slutitude can really make your sub feel used and humiliated, even if it's just pennies. Otherwise, he's just another random guy playing on cam for the world.

What I think works so much better is live video feeds. This is also a big step up from pictures. You can control your sub off cam or on. This lets you change up the dynamic; either having him be a lone pervert, or a dominated pet. There are two places that come to mind that let you broadcast your kinky webcam video to strangers. The first is ChatRoulette. There are more penises on ChatRoulette than you can shake a stick at, nonetheless, it's a free forum for you to broadcast anything to a complete stranger. It's all one on one. While it can be annoying at times, you can usually find someone with a webcam interested in watching, or someone without a cam fascinated enough not just to watch but comment as well. This is important for good humiliation. The second one was recommended by a friend, Cam4. This one will let you get some money from your pet's performance, although apparently the viewers are bad tippers. When signing up I had to wait a couple minutes for it to go through, perhaps they are gaining in popularity? With Cam4 you can have groups of people watching, but most tend to be men. You can set your profile to straight male but it won't help much. If virtually pimping out your sub sounds like fun, setting your profile to bisexual male will probably get you the most viewers. If the virtual pimping angle sounds like fun, you can try to hold out for a "tip" before having him do something humiliating, but since a lot of men on there are willing to do stuff for free, unless you have a large enough audience you will end up holding out indefinitely.

Next time I'll post about in-person humiliation, but I feel I should take a second to warn you not to trot your pet out to some random public place and have him expose himself or perform some lewd act in front of strangers. In the US this is actually a misdemeanor offense called public lewdness. I'm not sure about specific countries but it's just not a good idea. I also suggest that you don't tease your sub about it or make threats about doing so. Mentioning such things to a horny sub might subconsciously ingrain him with such desires. Sure there are exceptions to every rule, especially if your sub is already fixated on such a fantasy, but for the most part I'd suggest you avoid this particular scenario. What's best is to enlist the help of someone else and play out a scenario, but, like I said, that's for next time.